i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
