I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize