everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
