and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
