You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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