I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Is that strawberry winking at me??
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
