It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
