Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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