so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
