whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you would pick up someone in the library
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
