you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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