Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
