i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
