yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
These tits shall not be calmed
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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