When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
