why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
