just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
