I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize