Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
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