It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
