I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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