we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
