Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
