I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
