A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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