it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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