Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
