Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
