He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
