Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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