woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
nutella sex= disaster
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
