Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
