We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
