yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
