i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
