I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Randomize
