Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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