I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
