Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
