I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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