shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize