Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Randomize
