Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
