He asked to "fluff my boner.."
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
