So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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