Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Randomize
