Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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