check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
