it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
