what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
