she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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