I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
