the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
