There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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