it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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