Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
