Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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