I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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